You Don't Have to Carry What Isn't Yours.

There have been a lot of sanctuary founders talking about the daily hate they get from online bullies; people who have no idea how much time, money, and daily fortitude it takes to do this work day after day, year after year. They casually and thoughtlessly point out all of the things we aren’t doing right when their exposure to our work is a very small fraction of the commitment it takes to successfully operate a nonprofit rescue organization.

I wanted to write something for them, but I wanted to write something that applies to everyone.

That conversation starts with knowing your own worth, accepting your limitations, and understanding that there are people who, for reasons that have nothing to do with you, find fulfillment in belittling other people. They seek out ways to make others feel bad about themselves; they can come in the form of an offhanded comment, a strange look, or a cold tone. The way people act and the things people say are not your problems, they are their problems.  People carry stress, trauma, grief, insecurity, ego and will sometimes lash out.  They shut down.  They get passive or defensive.  And while it might land on you, it often didn’t start with you.  When you internalize every reaction or word, you end up picking up baggage that was never yours to carry.  When you read too deeply into what others say and do, you start creating stories in your head – stories where you are always the problem.

So, how do you protect your inner peace?

You pause.

You breathe.

You remind yourself that not everything requires a reaction.

You build gentle emotional boundaries. You give yourself permission to not take things so personally, to not overanalyze every interaction, and to not let someone else’s mood dictate your day.

Protecting your peace isn’t about avoiding people or becoming indifferent. It’s about staying grounded in your own truth.  It’s knowing that your worth doesn’t rise and fall based on someone else’s behavior. It’s choosing not to absorb what was never meant for you.

Let people feel what they feel and say what they say without wrapping yourself up in it.  You know who you are. You know your truth. Let it go and walk away with your peace intact.

If you find it difficult to quiet down the chatter in your mind, try doing something that takes creativity and focus.  This might include taking a yoga or meditation class, doing a puzzle, reading a good book, finding craft projects that interest you, or finding new places to explore.  Spend time with yourself and do things that help heal your mind, body, and soul.

With warmest wishes,

Gina